India

India, the place that (eventually) had my heart. I have to admit, when I arrived at the Ashram in Rishikesh, I was shocked at the room I’d have to stay in for the next month. I wanted to cry, but I just couldn’t so instead I just had this lump in my throat for the first couple of days. India was such a shock to my nervous system and I felt like I was in a heightened state or ‘survival’ for a while. Not only was my room awful (which of course I grew fond of in the end), but I had loud traffic noise outside my room the entire night for 4 nights straight and I barely slept. On top of the noise from the road, I had builders outside my room who started work between 5am-6am every morning. I didn’t allow that to get to me too much because they were fixing a landslide that had happened a week before and took down some of the ashram walls! So it was essential work. I also felt grateful that I wasn’t working away at those hours of the morning. 

Then I met the best people! I really think I was there just to meet the beautiful souls that I met, because my trip did not end how I had planned it… I can’t begin to explain the love that I had found with this amazing group and the support just the same, I feel so blessed to have met these special people. It was the community I wish I had at home in London. The joy real community brings is just something special. Despite having other things going on, I was glowing whenever I was around these guys. The freedom we gave each other to just ‘be’ who we are and with zero explanation required when one of us didn’t feel like hanging out on a particular day. We gave each other space, and love. I wish this is something that I feel in London, and it’s something I really want to create and harness going into the new year.

I found my soul sister too and I’m sure we will do amazing things together. It’s funny how two complete strangers from different countries can have such an immediate bond but this is how it should be. She made me fall in love with India, I really enjoyed my time with her in Delhi and in the strangest way I felt more at ease in Delhi than I did in Rishikesh! The kindness I received from my friend and her family is unmatched; they went out of their way to make sure that I was comfortable being in their home and so far away from mine. There is a lot to be learned from an experience like this… We are not created to be separate from each other, we’re here to experience all walks of life from different countries, experiences, ages, the list goes on. These things do not separate us, they bring us closer together and enable us to grow, just how it’s meant to be, that’s Divine order. 

I can’t believe I was so desperate come home, because as soon as I came home I missed India so much. The food, the people, the noise. How raw it is. How relaxed and laid back everyone is, there’s no rush to do anything (which took a little time getting used to) but it took so much pressure off. India is not soft of the senses, she will wake you up! On reflection I think that’s why I miss it, India makes me feel alive. You have no choice but to feel everything with all senses which can get overwhelming but I would rather feel alive than trapped, bored and stagnant. I’m already planning my return, there’s just so much to see and for the true spiritual seeker, India is second to none. I know I will return there more throughout my life and I know every experience will full. One of my new friends lovingly said “this country grabs you by the wrist, rearranges all the cells in your body and then sends you on your way with a whole new view on life” I’d have to lovingly agree.