Bali (first Solo trip)
I recently came back from Bali. I wanted to go for so long and when I quit my job I knew straight away I was going there. I booked my flight 3 days after resigning and I had built the trip up to be the most amazing experience of my life. I had pretty much burnt out from a highly stressful job I and felt I had nothing left, I was just a shell of my old self. I wanted to get out of London. Bali was going to be the place I found myself again and being a claimed Spiritual destination it had my name all over it.
Bali had many lessons for me! Literally as soon as I arrived in Ubud it poured with rain for 5 out of my 7 days there. Rain being the one thing I can’t stand, I was horrified! But I was forced to go out in it every day… I didn’t find Ubud peaceful, there was so much traffic and pollution. As soon as I left my hotel I was on high alert to make sure I didn’t get run over wherever I went. I thought London was bad, but I found this place worse. Regardless of my experience, it’s still a beautiful place, it’s just not what I had expected. Lesson learnt - have no expectations and you won’t be disappointed. Now I’m back in London the rain here is nothing compared to what I was out and about in, so it doesn’t really bother me anymore which I love.
The next lesson arrived when all boats were cancelled to the Gili islands for 3 days as the weather was so bad. In my mind, that was the worst thing that could have happened to me on this trip and it happened. I almost booked my flight home that day (after just 7 days of arriving). But I met some lovely girls who persuaded me to keep going. I’m glad I did… A detour with one of the girls to Kuta and then Canggu was so much fun. It’s so funny how the universe works, because the days following were great, although not what I’d planned I managed to just try and let go and after a day I’d pretty much forgotten about that disaster. I’ve learnt that I’ll always be ok, something good always comes after the hard times, just roll with it.
I was finally on Gili Air. I stayed in the most peaceful and beautiful place. There was word that the boats had been cancelled again but I was not about to let that stop me getting to my next destination this time. Luckily the boats were running again when I was leaving. I was promised the first boat back to Bali and when I arrived I found that was not the case I was on the second boat later in the day. I was frustrated as I could have spent longer at my hotel rather that sat in a cafe for hours. The first boat arrived late and I snuck onto it, I was fed up of waiting and the constant delays when travelling around Bali. Before, I would have waited and been resentful about it, but I refused to take what I had been told as the truth. The boat wasn’t even full and I sat on the top deck with the waves and strong sea breeze in my face I had the biggest smile the whole journey back to Bali. Lesson learnt - Don’t take no for an answer and don’t always believe what you’re told. I was certain in my mind that I was going to get on the first boat, leave no room for doubt!
I got to Pererenan (Canggu), another place I had built up in my mind… It was a beautiful neighbourhood that’s for sure. But the energy was off for me. It seemed pretentious, the exact places I try to avoid but I had to spend 5 days here. I lost my mind a little, I was getting headaches, my mind was spiralling into a negative state and I couldn’t seem to mediate at all. I was convinced my room had bad energy and I found it very difficult to be in there. I completely lost myself, so I contacted my Meditation Master for help out of this state. He gave me the best advice: Forget everything I had built up in my mind and start the trip again from now. See it only as a tourist and just enjoy the beach, attractions etc. forget about any enlightenment I thought I was going to have and Centre myself. I also had to meditate. So, I did exactly what he told me and the next day, I had the best day and good days followed. I knew the power of meditation, but this reminded me that it really does change everything. Once I had centred myself I was back in the right headspace and was able to enjoy the rest of my time there.
The trip was not as I had expected at all but I realise it was perfect. I learnt everything I was meant to and it has definitely made me more resilient, having come face to face with some of the things I disliked or feared the most. And guess what, I’m still alive but better from the growth, for this I’m so grateful. I laugh or smile when I think about the day I got stranded and how panicked I was! I can’t believe I thought about going home. I’m glad I had all of those experiences, it was a flow of twists, turns, ups, downs and revelations. This trip turned out so much better than the ‘easy’ plan I had. It’s funny what we notice upon reflection, things always turn out exactly as they’re meat to in the end.
When I was there I told myself I’d never solo travel again, but actually I would do it again and I probably will! I know what to ‘expect’ now and I know myself a little more when I’m out of my comfort zone. No experience is ever the same, so it’s likely going on another solo trip will have its own ups and downs but at least now I’m more prepared… I enjoy being out of my comfort zone (once the initial shock is over). I find now that when things are going back to ‘normal’ I like to shake things up a bit again. I’m not sure yet where my next adventure will be, but there’s a lot more places I want to see with my new found sense of adventure!